This.

It’s an interesting world this. So many things happen so fast and basically, time flies when your having fun. I’m sorry, this isn’t going to be one of the funny posts that I usually write, instead, its going to be a little educational and motivational. Firstly, there are 3 types of people in this world; people who give up, people who win, and people who don’t care. What type of person are you? People who give up usually try once, and then immediately give up if they don’t succeed. People who win, usually just win; and people who don’t care, frankly, they are probably going no where. But the thing is, people who always win don’t learn anything. They don’t know how to handle a loss. Thats why I introduced a fourth type of person - people who may lose at first, but still learn much more than people who usually win. Remember, its not about how hard you can hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit and still move on.
Sorry for the boring post.

Medical Term of the Moment: medterms.com
Rossi Counter: An instrument used to measure the energy deposited by radiation in microscopic sites such as cells. Named for its creator Harald H. Rossi (1917-2000), a radiobiophysicist who contributed much to our ability to measure minute amounts of ionizing radiation and their effects on living things.

“Hey! That guy is carrying a Rossi Counter. Lets get him fella’s.”

365.

There are 365 days in one year. This is equal to 52 weeks, 12 months, or basically one hell of a year. This year has not been a great one, and I’m not saying that because I simply want to complain – I’m saying that out of anger. If it wasn’t for the “n” number of things that has gone wrong today…I’d be perfectly fine!
But you know what folks…you just have to deal with days like these. Let’s do some math right now. 365 good days, minus 1 bad day = 364 good days. Now we need to find the 3rd derivative of the slope of the tangent of the number of good days in order to graph the y intercept that is reflected by the vertical asymptote. What does that mean? I have no clue. But you know what…if you find me the answer to that question, I guarantee that all of you will have an amazing rest of the year; trust me…there is nothing more satisfying in life than an epiphany – a revelation.
So I was down by the lake today with a bunch of friends…yes, a bunch meaning more than 1. What was good was that we saw a family of ducks floating along the meniscus of the lake. What wasn’t good was that minutes later…a duckling disappeared (the last time something like this happened was when one of my friend’s was hungry). Oh well – and then I found my friend aiming stones at birds…this was mean…and I wanted to aim stones at him. But I’m not mean so I didn’t. But if I ever catch him swimming, I’ll make sure I get a family of ducks to throw stones at him. After all, anything and everything is possible…except for the fact that I know where I’m going with my blogs. I actually don’t. So I’m stopping this one now.
Have a good day.

Medical Term of the Moment: medterms.comMydriasis: Dilation of the pupils induced by eyedrops. The opposite of miosis.

Billy: You see that guy around the corner?
Bobby: Nope.
Billy: Well then, have these eyedrops.
Bobby: Okay. Hmm…Mydriasis drops? What does Mydriasis mean?
Billy: Well Bobby, haven’t you been reading the Medical Term of the Moment from Gautam’s Blog?
Bobby: nope, but I will now. Thanks for the information. I have to go now, bye.
Billy waits alone counting the decreasing number of ducks.

Once upon a time...

So I was just recalling my childhood. Now I’m not talking about 5-10 years ago…im talking more like 12 years ago. One distinct thing I remember was how I was taught the different colours in art. It involved a lot of poetry:
Yellow, yellow, dirty fellow.White, white, ready to fight.Black, black, cut some slack.et cetera.
If its lame, it’ll work. This is lame, this worked. I find myself reciting this many a times when I forget what a colour’s name is…whats the colour again? its kinda like blue but not really…I think it starts with a R…no wait, im thinking of something else…anyways.
I also remember a very, very Indianized version of the alphabet nursey rhyme:
A, B, C, D, E, F, G…….H, I, J, K, LMNOP……..LMNOP, Q, R, S, T…….U, V, W…X, Y, Z…….X, Y, Z…sugar on the bread……If you don’t like it…go to bed…..
Weird huh…the last verse also emphasizes the starvation of little children/the illiterate, who may be reciting that. Go to bed if you don’t like sugar on your bread -go sleep without having dinner. Since we’re already on the topic, i’d like to take this opportunity and ask a simple question -> does alphabet soup have the same effect on the illiterate as it does on kids? anyways…
Since I just realized that I’m going no where with this blog, I’m going to finish off in a good note. Kids, always eat alphabet soup. Also, learn to like sugar on bread. It actually tastes pretty good.


Medical Term of the Moment: medterms.comAnaptic: Suffering from an impaired sense of touch, (a state called anaphia) or tactile anesthesia.

Billy: You see that guy around the corner? I think he’s anaptic.Bobby: Maybe thats why it didn’t hurt you huh? because you can’t feel his punches.Billy: It actually hurts a little bit…I need to see a doctor.

House. Friend's House.

I had quite the trouble thinking of a name for this article…so I randomly made one up. Anyways, back to the blog. Have you ever wondered why the first thing that is asked of you when you go to a friend’s house is when you have to go back?
Billy rings door bell.Bobby answers door: “hi Billy!”Billy says: “Hi!”Bobby replies: “So what time do you have to go back?”
In such a situation, the “So what time do you have to go back?” is a very polite way of asking, “how long do I have to tolerate you in my house?” From then onwards, everything the host says is opposite of what he really means…unless of course it’s a birthday party. In birthday parties…the guy who invited you WANTS you to come; not because you’re a nice person, but because they WANT MORE GIFTS! you know it.
Thats why they should’ve created the proportional party rule:The number of friends you are allowed to invite is proportional to your age.
This means that if you’re 6th months old…you’re a loner. If you’re 2 years old, you’re allowed to call two friends. 3, then 3. 30, then 30. get the drift?
I’m not going anywhere with this blog, so I think it’s a good time to digress.

Medical Word of the Moment: medterms.comEmesis: Vomiting.

Billy: You see that guy around the corner? he’s my emesis.Bobby: You mean nemesis…but I guess he does look like vomit.

Lots of Work? or is it...Lots of Doesn't Work?

Crappy name? well, there’s a crappy situation that goes with it. So I was thinking…why do we have so much work this week? is it just me or do teachers really like to sabotage their students’ lives? I mean, I have 4 major assignments due this week, and no teacher has stepped up and felt bad; and mind you, this isn’t even about procrastination…i’ll save that for later. In fact, if I was really procrastinating, I wouldn’t even be writing this blog now…i’d be thinking I have my whole life to write it.
By now, you’d be thinking what the hell I’m writing this blog for…and I don’t blame you because that’s exactly what I’m thinking at the moment. In fact, I’m just here to complain about my workload; so with all due respect, im going to rant about some useless subjects they teach in school.
English: why? are we not speaking english in our other classes? why do we need to analyze books that are older than us? Isn’t that rude?
History: why do we bother learning about stuff that happened in the past? what has happened has happened, and now we need to move on…stop reminding me of bad memories…
Instead, I feel we should just eliminate these subjects from our curriculum and learn like cooking. It’s very useful…no stress…quantitative and qualitative abilities required…as well as following proper algorithms. Make sense? if it doesn’t, then I don’t blame you because even I don’t know what I’m writing about.
Thanks for wasting 2.32 minutes of your life

Medical Term of the Moment: medterms.comHypnic jerk: The common normal phenomenon of jerking awake, usually accompanied by a feeling of falling, just as one is drifting off to sleep. Also called a sleep jerk or sleep start.

Billy says: “You see that guy around the corner? He’s such a hypnic jerk.”
Bobby says: “you mean, that guy wakes up when he falls?”
Billy says: “no I mean he’s an idiot.”
Bobby says: “I got it. He’s just a jerk.”
Billy says: “yup. but mine sounds cooler.”
Bobby says: “okay”
Billy says: “yeah. I have to go. bye”
Bobby says: “bye”
Bobby waits alone in the middle of no where, looking to see if he can befriend anyone, anything, even a bug.

What happens when a foreign Indian goes to India?

So what happens to a foreign Indian when he goes to india? Well, heres the thing; there are two types of foreign indians, as I have learned: an NRI (Non-Resident Indian) and a PIO (Person of Indian Origin), the latter unofficially being me. I’m not going to talk about them. I am going to talk about Indians who have lost all mental connections to India. Nothing special happens to them when they go to India except getting ripped off. Using their broken Indian dialects, they try and bargain, not knowing that they in fact, are requesting an increase in price. This is why, to all of you NRI’s and PIO’s, don’t buy from people who have a smile and accept your bargain. Anyways, I’ve been to India many-a-times this past decade, and I feel I have a fairly decent understanding of their principles. Sleeping on the floor can give you a bad back pain, but believe me, it’s worth it when you see yourself standing more straight up in the morning. This shows confidence. A foreign Indian may be of a better build than a typical Indian, but this difference is miniscule compared to the intellectual abilities and cape-abilities that a normal Indian has. A normal Indian CAN and WILL outsmart you in any and every single waypossible.
So you start up a normal conversation about basketball - “did you know that the backboard is very useful when shooting?” you ask. “yes, but it looks best when the angle you shoot at is 45 degrees on the dot.” he replies.
A typical foreign Indian, in my opinion is very confused about India, unless of course they have good cultural experience as a child. Otherwise a term called “white washed” comes into play. This term can be defined as one who is thoroughly influenced by the Caucasian culture. When a person of this type goes to India the first time, I theorize that it wont be fun. But believe me kids, if you go to india as a “white washed” indian, you will returnas an “indian based” american.
Cheers,Gautam
PS: I’m going to incorporate a medical “word of the moment” everytime i write a blog.

God's Games

Yes. The name says it all. God plays games with people all the time. Have you ever wondered why:
1. You put your earphones in your pockets, and they come out tangled?2. You need to go to the bathroom right at the best part of a movie?3. When you really need something you can never find it?4. You forget everything you learned right before starting to write a test?
I bet you after reading those questions, you’re first reaction was like “what the hell?”. That was my first reaction too until they started happening to me…except for #4. that only happens sometimes…but I still pull of a miracle. Pointless post, but I was bored.

Medical Term of the Moment: MedTerms.comPathogenic - Causing disease or capable of doing it.
“you see that guy around the corner? I think he’s pathogenic…”