Animals that I don't care about:

Animal 1: Racoons; these little creatures, as innocent as they may look, are actually as useless as one can be. Like seriously, I was looking around in the backyard today and saw one climb up onto the deck and looked like it was on a mission, but in fact, it wasn’t! To me it looked like it simply climbed a fence, took a small walk back and forth, and then went back into the woods. People may say it was looking for food, but to me this thing looked a bit fat...so it wouldn’t be looking for food. Maybe it was trying to lose weight or something, although there’s nothing wrong with being a fat animal...
One thing I’d hate to feed racoons is cocoons. I’m not doing this just because these words rhyme...I’m also saying this because I’d hate to see racoons with wings...we already have rats with wings (pigeons), how are we supposed to deal with racoons with wings? It’s crazy! Getting rid of racoons isn’t a problem...getting rid of their food source...garbage. But wait...you toss garbage into a garbage bin, you make more garbage...you toss that into another garbage bin, you make even more garbage! This means that racoons have an everlasting food source. Damn.

Animal 2: Hyenas; I’m not going to lie, I’m a funny person...but I’d never tell a joke to a hyena because they laugh at everything; I wouldn’t know which jokes to tell to who...but when I’m low in confidence, I’d buy a hyena and tell it some jokes because then I’d start thinking hey, at least I can make animals laugh...unless I manage to make a hyena stop laughing...in that case, I must really suck.

Flashlight?

I was looking outside my window the other day, and I saw a yellow light...which suddenly registered in my mind as a UFO. Thats right. It may have been an airplane, a helicopter, or a loner playing catch with a flashlight, but to me it was an Unidentified Flying Object. I had no idea what it was and it was in the air. It was probably a plane or something to be honest.

Later that day, I recalled this event and thought to myself...a UFO is very scary, but its less scary if you know what it is...its even less scarier if you don't know what it is, but its not flying through the air.

So here we have 2 options: Flying Object (could be a frisbee) or Unidentified Object.

Lets focus on the Unidentified Object. If a little kid saw a UFO, he'd shit in his pants and yell out of fright. But if a little kid saw a UO (unidentified object) he'd be like "hey, whats this? this is cool...especially because when you climb into it, it spins". Thats right kids, never climb into UO's. It's actually much more safe if you make UO's into IO's and then when you destroy them they become just O's...which remind's me...

if you have a box of cereal, and its a copy of cheerios but it really isn't cheerios and you have no idea what it is...you shouldn't eat it...because its a box of Unidentified O's. Think about it.

Chess Club

Also known as discotheques, clubbing is this generation’s way of life. But these institutions are very peculiar in the sense that they’re name doesn’t indicate what they really are. Here’s a situation:

Bob: What are you doing tonight?
Bill: I’m going to a club.
Bob: Cool, which club? The chess club?
Bill: No...Circa...
Bob: Thats nice. What do people do in the circa club?
Bill: Nevermind.

Club, as defined by Princeton’s Wordnet, is a verb; “strike with a club or bludgeon”. It is also defined as “a formal association of people with similar interests”.
Interesting enough, here’s another situation:

Bob: Why are you telling me to nevermind?
Bill: Clearly, you don’t know what clubbing means.
Bob: Yes I do Bill. Yes I do.
Bill: Okay, what is clubbing?
Bob brings out his club and whacks Bill on his head. Tsk tsk Bob, now why would you go and do that?

Sometimes, misinterpretations happen. Bob just misinterpreted what clubbing meant. It’s not his fault though. It’s no one’s fault. In fact, Bill deserved to get hit. He should’ve said “I’m going to the discotheque”. In fact, that’s two points for Bob since the first club that came to his mind was the Chess club. Good work Bob.

Nerdy

Hmm...I haven't blogged in a while, so please bear with me...this blog is going to, hopefully, be as funny as my previous ones, but no guarantees...What am I writing about? well read, and find out!

So I was listening to some music the other day, and this techno song came on...which is when I realized what techno music really means...atleast what I think of it - sorry if I offend anyone.

I think techno music is a bunch of nice sounding clicks put together in a very appealing tune...in fact, let me go back to what I think about the name "techno"...and possibly where it came from...

to me, and im sure to many other literate people, the word techno is part of the word technology... therefore, when someone says "I listen to techno", I interpret them as saying "I listen to technology"... sure, thats not nerdy at all...i've heard of people using the internet...and even computers for that matter! but listening to technology? man, I just find that weird...like a remote control...i consider a remote control, technology...but what if there's a guy who starts listening to his remote control? I consider this guy a person without a life...funny, but true...

what about a person who listens to House music? why did they name it House? i dont play that kinda music in my house...no way...but i'll save this issue for some other day...